It's 10:30 pm. Everyone here is asleep. Even my special needs dog who never leaves my side has left me for fluffier pillows and sweet dreams.

Being the perfect housewife I am... Liam was the only one who ate dinner. Don't judge me. I think Will ate some Doritos...

I decided at this late hour that I am hungry and I begin to scour every potential food receptacle in the kitchen. I stumble across these bad boys...

Totino's Pizza Stuffers. I know, I know. Carbs before bed, Nasty gross processed food, this isn't even made of food... I KNOW!

What intrigued me was the "CAUTION! FILLING WILL BE VERY HOT! Wait until cool enough to eat." on the back of the box.

I waited what I thought was a reasonable amount of OMG I'm staaaaaaarvvvvvvvving minutes. Lo and behold I now have no tongue. It was scalded off by artificial cheese and whatever else is inside that thing.

Inhales, Exhales, he-who-he-whos, fanning... nothing works to cool off hot food inside your mouth. Excepting spitting it, but the damage has already been done.

So, how do you KNOW your food is cool enough to eat? I'm certain this is something that the greatest of minds sit around and discuss... especially after they receive giant mouth blisters from 600 million degree food!