For those of you that made raising children look so glamorous, I hate you. Maybe hate isn't the best word there but I'm exhausted and cranky and that always brings out my greatest child-like attitude and vocabulary which often result in lots of I hate yous and you're not the boss of mes. Apparently run-on sentences as well.

I had the most unglamorous mom moment last night/this morning. It was horrible and embarrassingly disgusting. I'm sharing anyways... don't judge me.

At approximately 1:00 am after feeding, burping, changing, feeding again, burping again, rocking, cuddling, trying to put back in bed, failing, consoling, trying again, failing again, trying again and failing the third time for over an hour; I set my child down in his bed and walked out.

That's right.

That moment was pure, overwhelming exhaustion and desperation.

After a moment... several moments... of breathing and crying, I returned. Luckily, I found my fantabulous husband with baby in arms. Still crying I might add.

Daddy managed to get baby to sleep. Thank You Jesus.

Now my guilt is overwhelming. My ONLY job is to take care of that kid, and I walked out on him. Tears.

I'm going now to wallow in my sorrows...

Better days ahead? I hope so.

I procrastinated horrendously in getting Liam's Nursery ready. Baby Furniture (really, all furniture) is ridiculously expensive! Luckily I'm Thrifty, it just takes some extra time and patience!

When he was born, the only item we really lacked was a dresser. I was on the lookout for something to refinish or something inexpensive. I had stalked the Thrift Store and searched the clearance sections of every store in entered. No Luck.

While cleaning out one of several buildings on his property, my Dad found a dresser that he was willing to give to us.

Woot!

When he brought it by, this is what we got...

YIKES!

This dresser is ridiculously old! My Dad got it second hand from a friend of the family TWENTY years ago, and it was old then. He refinished it lovely pink and white for mine and my sister Elizabeth's childhood bedroom. It has been sitting in storage for over ten years now.

Am I in over my head? To the avid furniture refinisher, this is probably no big thing... I; however, have never refinished anything. ever.

I sort of lucked out... being in the insane state of life that is "Postpartum" and running around with a fussy, cranky baby, I got out of the labor intensive work (haha, because I already did my "Labor"... ba-dum-bum, I'll be here all week!)

My sweet, sweet husband stripped and sanded... and stripped and sanded... and stripped and sanded. This old thing lost about 4 inches in PAINT!

He also had to add the missing piece of wood to the front under the bottom drawer!

Liam's room is red, black, and grey. His other furniture is a dark espresso wood which was extremely difficult to match, so we decided on Red.

Lots and lots of wood filler later, we primed and then painted. Will bought a inexpensive paint, so we wound up having to put on several coats. In the end though, I think it turned out nice. We had talked about black hardware to go with the room, but I loved the original porcelain knobs that were on the dresser, so we reused those.





I loved the red so much, we painted an old nightstand the same to go next to the rocking chair.

Before:



After:



Jonah thinks it looks great!



It's a simple refinish, but I am super proud of it! I adore how it turned out!

I'm linking this project up today at Perfectly Imperfect!

En preparacion por el fin de semana, Yo presento... Random Things Thursdays - a recap of everything I didn't blog about this week. Trend It.

Firstly, the best dog on the planet acting a total fool...



I heart Jonah! He's such a fantastical dog, even if he is a total fruitcake.

Want to see him be cute again? Watch this one...






In other news, Liam and I went to see "Sesame Street Live: Elmo's Super Heroes" this week. Liam's "Pop" (my Dad) does some part time Stage/Sound/Lighting crew work for the Montgomery Performing Arts Center (MPAC). Working for MPAC, he is in the know about all the events there. It's almost ridiculous the number of "I met backstage" stories he has now! He and Aunt Erin (my sister) even got to meet Super Grover...

Because he is so in the know, he got Liam in for his first "show"! Talk about a show...









I did some videoing so that you could see how really corny it was, but I decided against uploading it. I figured my pictures were pushing copyright infringement as it is. As silly and corny as the show was, we really did have a good time. By we, of course, I mean Nana (my mom), Aunt Erin, and I. This is what Liam did through the entire show...



C'est la vie. What can you really expect from a three week old? Anywho, we did have a really good time. The best part was watching the kids get so friggin excited about it. It was literally the same insanity that was beetlemania... except in a miniature, toddler version. Three year olds dancing in the aisles and singing is truly priceless! I'm excited about seeing Liam that way one day... not that I'm wishing away this sweet baby stage.




Also on the books for the week, this outfit.



Horrendous, I know. Why am I sharing?  Because I'm proud of this "It's pouring rain and I have errands to run and there is a 99% chance I'll end up spit up on by the end of the day" outfit. Not only was it comfortable and functional (and DID in fact end up spit up on), it is entirely thrifted. SCORE. I seriously adore the thrift store.

Please also note: bags under eyes, last night's eye makeup, frumpy "please don't vomit in my hair" hair, and "trying to hide the last of my pregnancy body with baggy-ish clothes"... YAY MOTHERHOOD! Only in motherhood can you look totally gross and be proud of it.




Random moment for the week?
Baby-Mama dance party to Enter Sandman. Don't hate, I'm raising my kid right.




and speaking of Enter Sandman... funny video...






The End :)

Linking up today with The Vintage Apple for "Oh, How Pinteresting Wednesdays"!

Because next week is Thanksgiving, I'm showcasing my fav Thanksgiving pins!































Enjoy!

It's a stay in bed sort of day today. My two best boys agree.

Just look at this weather?!



and tell me... how does one sleep this way? Weird child. He comes by it honest.



I figured today is as good a day as any to start Liam's GI Chronicles. Especially since I've avoided it for so long. I've officially run out of internet things to scour for the day, so I'm putting my nose to the grind and hashing this thing out. Bear with me.

Liam has been a horrendous eater from day numero uno. He came out that way. I had my mind, heart, and budget set on breastfeeding the kid for a year... it lasted like 4 days.

Trying to breastfeed Liam was such a chore. Unlike normal babies who cry to eat and then settle down to feed, my child would cry to eat, latch on, suck 3 times, snatch his head back and then scream as though poison was leaking from my breast and not colostrum.

I chatted with every nurse and lactation consultant the hospital had to offer to no avail. One would say, "don't force him to eat, he will signal you when it's time and then feed as long as he wants" and then the next would say "wake him every two hours to eat no matter what and only let him nurse twenty minutes, he has to have a routine." Doctor's would ask "Has your milk come in?" and when I sheepishly said no, they would start trying to pass out prescriptions. Later a nurse would come by and tell me not to worry my milk shouldn't be in yet. Seriously... the hospital sure knows how to confuse a girl.

Maybe he's just really hungry and this colostrum thing isn't cutting it for him? Maybe it will get better when my milk comes in?

WHAM! Talk about instant boob job!? The milk arrived the evening we left the hospital. Unfortunately, nothing changed in the little guys eating habits.

Twenty-Four hours after bringing Liam home, he hadn't had a bowel movement since we left the hospital. I called the pediatrician and they wanted to see him right away. Fabulous.

Go figure, after arriving at the pediatrician's office she opens his diaper to find the tiniest little poop. A drastic loss of weight and a tiny little poop lead her to recommend supplementing him with formula. She also recommended that I pump to increase my milk production. I begrudgingly took the formula samples she offered even though I knew I wouldn't use them and we headed home.

Maybe my milk volume and flow wasn't enough for him?

I decided to pump and feed him from a bottle. I pumped (a double pump) for THIRTY minutes every two hours and would get a TOTAL (I'm talking combined out of BOTH sides) of barely an ounce each time. Not Enough Milk. The kid was taking two ounces every two hours from a bottle. By late that evening I was crying and at the end of my rope. I had a screaming, starving baby and wasn't producing enough milk to feed him.

Much to my dismay, I started giving him formula.

I continued to pump and tried giving him breast milk when I actually made some. My doctor even called in a prescription to help increase my milk. It did, but I still wasn't keeping up with Liam's demand.

Liam actually started to pitch a fit whenever I offered him a bottle of breast milk. He would fight and scream until he got a bottle of formula. Way to make your mom feel good, son. I took a friend's advice and mixed the formula and breast milk together and he took that well for several days.

Now, up to this point, he was still a fussy eater. He had horrendous gas and would frequently scream out while snatching his legs like he was in horrible pain. We gave him gas drops which seemed to help, but I think he just liked the taste... I doubt they actually helped with the gas. I could hear and feel it rumble through his belly. Liam then began projectile vomit. I started once in a while then began to happen every day.

Another call to the pediatrician got a recommendation of Soy Formula. Will worried it would make him a pansy or lactose intolerant. I worried it was going to cost more. They sent us some samples and we started nasty, stinky soy.

He seemed much better with the gas, but the vomiting remained. Over the course of one evening, Liam vomited three out of the five times I fed him. The third time, the milk actually came out of his nose and he couldn't breathe. I about died running across the house to get the aspirator. I suctioned his nose out and completely lost it in tears. I was at the end of my rope again, this time covered in vomit with a screaming baby in one hand and trying to get soy milk vomit of the carpet with the other hand.

We made a trip to the pediatrician that day. Liam was diagnosed with GERD. He had ALL of the symptoms: repeated vomiting, effortless spitting up, coughing, wheezing, inconsolable crying, refusing food, crying for food and then pulling off the bottle or breast only to cry for it again, failure to gain adequate weight, bad breath, and burping. I'm not exaggerating, he had EVERY symptom. The doctor gave him Zantac. After the first dose, he was a new baby. He still has occasional vomiting and spit up with a cough every now and then, but no other symptoms. He HATES the taste of the medicine, but we get by. She also, most unfortunately, recommended no breast milk at all. Complete and total bummer. Good bye boobs that I had already come to know and love.

I thought we were out of the woods with the kid's GI issues... then yesterday I notice his tongue is white. It's not formula because it's not coming off. After a quick google search and a thorough mouth inspection that found the white all over his mouth, I realized he had thrush. I called the pediatrician in again and they called in Nystatin. He only has a few doses under his belt, but we've had no positive progress. Thrush is an awful, awful thing. I have yet to figure out how to feed a baby that is "starving", but fights eating because his mouth hurts? It is like trying to bottle feed a snake... Except this little snake can kick and punch and scream!

If you're the praying type, we would certainly appreciate it. (Funny side note, I typed prying there initially... thank goodness I reread). 

I'm hoping that by finally typing out the GI Chronicles it will mean an end to all of our issues. There is no worse feeling in the world than that of a helpless mother with a screaming baby. Hopefully we are on the road to recovery!

A video only a mom could love (and post all over the internet)...

Yesterday was day numero uno of Stay At Home Mom... FOR REAL!

Will went back to work yesterday and I was at home, ALONE with the wee babe. We survived.

I hate to use the word dreading in reference to my child, but I really was dreading being at home alone with him. Don't get me wrong, I do everything for him regardless of who is here or not here! There is just something about a second set of hands & ears or just another warm body in general that comforts me. I literally watch TV and volume level TWO because I'm terrified of him crying and me not hearing him. I'm also scared of a massive screaming fit or choking about the time I sit my fanny on a toilet... stupid fears? Most definitely.

The day began at 3:30 am. I have an extremely fussy eater (more coming in another post), which makes everything from eating to sleeping to pooping (ummm, the only things babies ever do) extremely difficult. I was seriously thankful for any sleep at all.

Will left for work around 8:00 (LATE!) and the kid and I were on our own!

He did what all good babies do for stressed out mothers. He cried and fussed ALL DAY! He was in his bed several times after I would finally get him to sleep, but for no more than 10-15 minutes at a time. Basically long enough for me to use the bathroom or eat. I can not put him down without him getting fussy again! I keep telling him that I cannot hold him all day, but I do believe he has the advantage and will win this battle. The only thing I "accomplished" was putting a load of clothes in the dryer and washing bottles.

The morning hours consisted of a bath, eating frequently, and lots of crying.

I told him bad babies get eaten by alligators, but he didn't believe me...

Lunch? Yeah Right...

I decided I was going to run some errands that afternoon. I wanted to go and pay a bill and go to Target. Looking back, I know these plans were quite far fetched, but I was determined to get out of the house on my own.

I dressed Liam and myself. I completely skipped hair and makeup... I just put real people clothes on and called myself ready. I gathered the car seat, diaper bag, and purse. Liam got fussy AGAIN, so I thought I would be smart and go ahead and feed him a little early, that way he would be quiet during our adventures. Seemed like a good idea at the time...

At exactly the moment he suckled the last drops from his bottle he made a horrific face, rounded out his mouth, and projectile vomited all over both of us and the car seat, diaper bag, and purse.

Fabulous.

I changed BOTH of us and cleaned everything the vomit reached. Now we are ready. Into the car seat without a hitch... maybe this won't be so bad after all?



I got us out the door and locked it. I feel that is an important statement. At this point my brain is so fried that remembering to lock the front door is monumental.

I put Liam and our luggage in the car and got both of us buckled in snuggly.

Turned the Key... ree, ree, ree, ree, ree, ree, ree... that's the sound my car made.

Do I use profanity? Do I cry? What happens now??

I unpacked the kid and the luggage, called Will and vented about my stupid, old, cranky car not running, and then the kid and I took a walk.

In case you don't know, walks are fab for fussy babies. There have already been days where the only way I can get him to stop crying is to put him in the stroller and go for a walk. Maybe it's the fresh air or the movement of the stroller, "C" both, "D" none of the above? Who Knows. What I do know is that he SLEEPS so peacefully on walks... not to mention I break a sweat! Pre-pregnancy jeans here I come!



After our walk, my sweet sister Elizabeth stopped by and visited with us. It was nice to have a conversation with someone who can actually converse, no offense Liam. She also had a correct feeling that my first day on my own would be a little stressful, so she brought dinner. Rotisserie Chicken, Green Beans, Pasta Salad, and OREOS! She knows me too well! She also brought the most beautiful autumn bouquet of flowers!

How Beautiful!

So pretty in my dining "nook"

After she left we were back to very fussy baby. Near the end of my rope, I called the pediatrician. I spent nearly 20 minutes on the phone with THE SWEETEST NURSE EVER. She was so fabulous. I poured out all of my cranky babies flaws and she gave me wonderful advice AND (even better) formula samples! HOORAY! Though I couldn't pick them up because, you guessed it, the car won't start.

I called my mother who just so happened to be in town and she picked them up and brought them to me. Momma saves the day again!

Dare I say it, the new formula has kicked out fussy baby and brought my sweet little Liam back! YAY!

and then... DADDY CAME HOME! :) another savior!

Dinner - check
Liam Quiet - check
Shower for Mom - check
Liam Sleeping - check

Hooray for the end to a crazy day!!

For those of you wondering, I actually made it to pay that bill and to target today! We survived that too :)

I'm working on Liam's Birth Story and my Postpartum Story AND Liam's Feeding Fiasco Story... because I know you're all wondering what has gone on the past 10 days! SO, check back!

Some bebe pics for parting...

Mom and Dad are so boring!

My handsome man!

Ready to go for a ride!

Oh, baby acne!