Last night we made our very first ER Visit with Liam.

We had a wonderful Friday Evening planned. I had been marinating steaks all day and had a killer new recipe for Loaded Mashed Potatoes I found on Pinterest. Liam and I had already visited the park, worked on a few house chores and had an all around good day.

It was getting close to bed time and Liam was starting to get crabby. I put him in his Bumbo and put him on the countertop like I do nearly every evening while I cook dinner. I was working hard on my Loaded Mashed Potatoes and Will started grilling the steaks. Liam is an outdoor enthusiast already, so I sent him outside to sit in his Bumbo with Will.

Will propped him on a stable, elevated surface about counter height under our carport where he was grilling. I came out several times to check them. Liam was playing and laughing. Will was standing directly next to him playing with him and checking steaks.

About the time the oven went off for the potatoes I heard Will yell. I knew from the sound of his voice something wasn't right. I then heard Liam begin screaming like I've never heard before. I raced to the other side of the house and met will coming through the door. I already knew what had happened but I asked anyways. Will was hysterical already. He was playing with Liam and turned around to check the steaks. When he turned Liam lunged forward to continue playing and flipped the Bumbo over. He fell and hit the concrete carport.

I immediately gave Liam a dose on Tylenol and held him. He cried and cried. Who could blame him? All the while I'm trying to calm my panicked husband.

I'm a waiter. I always try and wait things out. In any "emergency" situation I delay making the call to rush to the doctor if there is no obvious, blatant trauma (blood, bones sticking out...). I wanted to see how bad Liam was hurt before we ran off to the ER "for no reason". Will is the opposite. When things happen he wants to get in the car immediately.

Nothing was bleeding, but Liam was obviously hurting and scared.

When Liam stopped crying, I didn't feel right. He's always been very strong with holding his head up right, even since 2 weeks old. He wouldn't hold his head up. He acted extremely disoriented and wouldn't focus his attention.

After what seemed like hours (and was actually about 4 minutes) calming my husband and delaying him cranking the car. I knew we needed to go have him looked at.

I grabbed the diaper bag and started a bottle. I had Will pull the steaks off the grill and the potatoes out of the oven. I don't know where it came from, but as scared as I was, I was oddly calm about it all. It was a good balance to Will's panicked and upset state.

Liam was still extremely disoriented and was turning pale.

We got in the car and headed for the hospital. Will had no idea where to go. I directed him to the only hospital I knew of (which apparently was not the closest one!).

It had been raining for several hours. The roads were wet and Will was so rushed. I just knew that any injury Liam had wouldn't matter because we were about to hydroplane and die anyways. We passed a Sheriff clocking people. Will said he would have to pull him over in the hospital parking lot because he was not stopping. I agreed, but still thought he should slow down some. Luckily he didn't come after us.

I began to get even more worried in the car. Liam was white and was trying to doze off. I instantly went worst case thinking he had some kind of brain trauma. I wouldn't let him fall asleep!

My brain didn't feel like it was functioning properly. My calm demeanor at the house was losing out to fear and panic. I couldn't find my phone and couldn't remember what I had grabbed at the house, if the oven was turned off, or if we had shut the door. I didn't really care.

I got Will's phone and texted our friends at Revolve Church. I told them it was Leah, Liam had fallen far onto concrete, we needed prayers, we were on our way to the ER. I typed in names of anyone I could think of that Will might have in his phone. I know I left so many people out, but news traveled quickly.

Looking back, that message was so vague! People assumed he was bleeding to death! My poor parents had their anniversary dinner interrupted by my panicked words and rushed 45 minutes to check on us.

We made it to the hospital, got checked in, and saw the nurse. About 15 minutes had passed since Liam fell. By the time the nurse saw him, he was smiling some and began to focus more.

She got us back into the ER anyways.

The doctor saw us immediately. He checked Liam out and got him to smile several times and focus his attention. We saw another doctor as well. She recommended that Liam be kept for observation for a bit but she didn't want to do a CT because it was too much radiation and he seemed fine. Of course, by this point he is talking and laughing and you can't tell anything ever happened. That's how it happens I suppose.

So many of our friends showed up to check on him! Others sent encouraging messages. I'm so thankful for all of them! I had a moment then when I felt really silly for rushing to the ER and worrying everyone... but I'm certain it's better to be safe than sorry. God forbid he had actually had some type of real trauma and I would have waited. I would never forgive myself.

Aside from a nice goose egg and a scratch and a scrape, you would never know he got hurt. I've always heard people say "babies bounce", and I am so grateful they do. God knew what he was doing when he made them!

I woke him up a few times during the night. He was perfect! He seemed a bit sore this morning, but has been a happy boy!

As for the Bumbo. I KNOW the box says not to use it on elevated surfaces. But everyone does it. I really have never met anyone that hasn't put their child in a bumbo on the table or counter. I had only heard of ONE child flipping one and it was on the ground. To be perfectly honest, I brushed it off because he is WILD! I won't stop using the Bumbo all together... but I've learned my lesson about using it on elevated surfaces. I won't do it again.

Will and I are both still struggling with guilt. It's our fault it happened. We put him up where he shouldn't have been. Will turned his back for a split second. It happened SO FAST! I don't blame him though, because It could have happened on my watch too.

I'm so thankful for everyone who supported us emotionally. I felt so much better when everyone shared stories of their child's accidents and what they did! It was also nice to be surrounded by people that love us so much. It's been hard being in a new city and not knowing a lot of people. The reassuring part is knowing that the people we do know are some of the greatest people on earth. They didn't think twice about interrupting their Friday evening to come make sure Liam was ok. Even the people who couldn't stop what they were doing and leave, stopped what they were doing and PRAYED and that means just as much. I'm so thankful for my Revolve Church family!

I know this isn't our last crazy emergency situation... but hopefully it will be a LONG TIME before we have another!

For those of you that haven't figured it out yet, I'll let you in on a little secret. My family doesn't follow the "norm"...

In our house, we don't do the "Easter Bunny" (or Santa Claus for that matter...). There is something uncomfortable to me about celebrating the death (and birth) of the greatest man in history by totally detracting focus from him onto fictitious characters that are allowed to break into your house because they come bearing gifts. It's so important to me that my kids look at these holidays as more than time off school or occasions to receive gifts, but as a time to stop and reflect on their faith and the savior that makes their daily life possible.

I also don't judge people... so carry on your traditions!

We DO; however, exchange gifts for such occasions.
Why? BECAUSE...
Christmas: It's a BIRTHDAY celebration and the Wise Men brought gifts to Jesus.
Easter: Jesus' death is the world's GREATEST gift.
More Selfishly: It's less socially awkward and I don't want my children feeling left out.

I tell you all of that to say...

SO, sweet baby Liam celebrated his first Easter today! He enjoyed it immensely even though his gifts were not brought by a rabbit.

Photo evidence:

and YES I did make the only dog of mine that would sit still participate in the festivities! Poor, poor Dylan!


We are fortunate to attend a church that offers Easter services throughout the entire weekend, so we attended Saturday night and enjoyed a relaxing Sunday brunch!

I hope your Easter celebrations were JOYOUS!

My life since that tiny faint pink line showed up on a pregnancy test in February has been consumed by "Having a Baby". Everything I eat, purchase, save for, think about, stress about, pray about, dream about, is all about "Having a Baby". I've been to my OB appointments, I've decorated a nursery, I've read books, I've "mentally prepared myself" for labor (that last one is still in question. I'm ready to have a baby.

Call me crazy, or stupid... at this point I'm so fat and pregnant (a) I don't care and (b) there's nothing I could do about it anyways...

Until tonight, while in the shower (If you haven't noticed, that's when I do all my big thinking), I never thought past "Having a Baby". Whats the next step in line? What happens after I have this baby? Oh, I don't know, maybe... BECOMING A MOM?!

WHAM! if i hadn't been sitting down I would have fallen over. Why in all of this preparation had I not even considered this whole becoming a mom thing? That is a really big step that I don't know if I'm prepared for (too late now, well you better get ready, blah, blah, blah, thanks readers, I can hear you from here!!). Being a mom is much, much bigger than birthing this child.

What if I mess up? What if I don't teach him all the things he needs to know? What if I'm a bad influence on him? What if he doesn't like me? What if I spoil him too much? What if I deprive him of things he needs? What if he's put in a psychiatric ward by the time he is 12 and it's all my fault??

*panic*

So, I did what I always do when I panic... I prayed for Liam.

Dear God, please grow this baby boy big and strong. Lord, I know you have huge plans for and him and his future and that you will provide for him no matter what, even despite my shortcomings as a mom. Father, don't let my inabilities affect his abilities. Give him a heart that always seeks you and never sways from your path. God, equip me to raise this child, because I can't do this without you. Surround me with knowledgeable, Godly women to help me. Lord, raise up baby Liam and allow him to stand strong on the promises you've made, let him fulfill the plans that you have for his life, let him always find comfort in you. Thank you Jesus for this precious little man. Amen.

So simple, I know, and probably on the verge of silly.

Isn't this what every mother wants for her son?
Well, yes, but I find that simply wanting vs actually asking God and proclaiming his promises are two vastly different worlds.
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Phil 4:6

Doesn't God already know you can't do this alone?
It's amazing the comfort I find in just telling God I'm incompetent even though he already knows.
"may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen." Heb 13:21

*side note* Call me crazy (again), but Liam knows when I pray for him. Seriously. There are 4 things he ALWAYS moves for...
1. Mexican Food - understandable... What on your insides doesn't move for that spicy stuff?
2. "Aunt" Lisa - understandable... She has the sweetest, most kind and compassionate voice, what baby wouldn't love that?
3. Will's Car Stereo - understandable... With subwoofers that loud, I'm surprised the child isn't traumatized from all of my insides shaking!
4. My Prayers For Him - explain that one?

Now I'm sitting on the couch hoping that I can be everything Liam needs me to be as a mom, knowing I'll fall short sometimes, and thanking God for his provision regardless.

"Mom" here I come...

*side note part II : The Remix* Progress with the nursery? Check it out....

Before

After







Ok, so there is still so much to do... But it's getting there!!

I <3 John Mayer. For Real. I saw him in concert once...

John Mayer in concert @ BJCC Birmingham, AL Feb 2010 Photo by Sorella Photography

John Mayer in concert @ BJCC Birmingham, AL Feb 2010 Photo by Sorella Photography

The Shower always channels my inner musical guru. Something about shampooing my hair brings forth song lyrics from random songs... I'll never fully understand from where or why. My most recent cleaning routine was set to John Mayer's "Gravity". While washing the now unavoidable baby bump, my musical guru one-upped John Mayer by changing his lyrics from Gravity to Pregnancy. The reality of my current life situation is Pregnancy is working against me and Pregnancy wants to bring me down.

Today I am 34 weeks and 2 days. Yes, each day is that significant. This is my first child, so I have had absolutely NO IDEA what to expect. Don't get me wrong, I heard people talk about the things they experienced during pregnancy and how good or bad it was, but there is no better explanation than to experience it for yourself. I heard about heartburn, being uncomfortable, getting kicked in the ribs... I don't recall anyone telling me that my body would start a revolution against itself. It's like World War 3 right here in my 5'4" frame. EVERYTHING is swollen and stretched to capacity and there is no position that is remotely comfortable. I have an itching desire to clean everything, but my body can barely handle any activity that requires more than existing. My feet definitely can not handle the extra 30 pounds I am carrying around and stay swollen and red. Pitting Edema, Shin Splints, and Cankles are the latest additions to my once normal legs. My face looks like it's been inflated and even my sinuses are so swollen that I am constantly congested and have an ear ache. I could go ON and ON about all of the horrendous things going on in my body. I've actually resorted to calling my innocent fetus a terrorist because of the terror he is inflicting on my body! His alligator death rolls look like something off the Sci-Fi Channel... I feel like any moment now a camera crew will be filming me and an alien will burst forth from my abdomen.

All of these miserable feelings remind me daily that God is indeed a genius. 40 weeks is exactly enough time to not only prepare for a baby's arrival, but to literally LONG FOR IT! My feelings about delivery and having a new baby have shifted from nervousness, and fear to readiness and peace. Not sleeping is misery, but it has been a gradual process and I know my body is preparing for a complete lack of sleep once the baby gets here. My currently revolting body is setting me up for relief once the baby arrives. Whenever he is ready (within a safe time... like after 36 weeks!), I'm ready!!

...Maybe one day HAPPY, not always complaining Leah will come back... SOON I hope :)